


Dan May Not Be On Fire, But He Still Gets Fired

by thathipsterkaiya



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, japhan!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 15:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11129217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thathipsterkaiya/pseuds/thathipsterkaiya
Summary: During his trip to Japan, Phil eats at a fine dining Japanese restaurant and meets a waiter named Dan, who needs Phil’s help in getting him fired from his job.





	Dan May Not Be On Fire, But He Still Gets Fired

**Author's Note:**

> Second Phan oneshot! This took like two days to write and it wasn’t really planned out so sorry if the structure is kinda weird. But hopefully you guys still like it! Enjoy! :)

The foreign breeze bristled against Phil’s hair, causing his jet black tuft of fringe to slap against his face gently. Phil Lester, also infamously known as AmazingPhil on Youtube, was currently on a holiday in Tokyo, Japan. Three days out of seven have passed and Phil was anxious to go back to dreary rainy London and into his boring, empty flat in which he only resided in. Phil wished for a flatmate just so his ears wouldn’t go insane from hearing dead silence sometimes throughout the night while trying to fall asleep.

_It’d be nice to have some company, to be honest,_ Phil reasoned in his head as he intently followed the directions Siri gave him to a Japanese restaurant called _Teppan Edo_. He’d gone over some basic Japanese ordering phrases with Duncan and Mimei the other day when they’d spent the whole time showing him around Tokyo. Phil was ready for this and took a deep breath as he opened the door into _Teppan Edo._

Phil was immediately greeted by a neatly put together Japanese woman donned in a _kimono_ and a bright red _kanzashi_ perfectly placed in her hair.

“ _Irasshai mase!”_ the woman said brightly, a welcoming smile graced on her lips.

Phil smiled back politely at the lady at the counter.

_“Nan mei sama desu ka?”_ the woman asked. (How many people?)

“Er, _hitori desu,”_ Phil said with a bit of uncertainty. (Just one person.)

The woman smiled amusedly at Phil’s effort in speaking her native language before waving a hand to gesture Phil to follow her. Phil trailed behind the lady before she sat him at a secluded table in the corner meant for two people.

The woman gestured once more to the table and said, _“kochira e douzo.”_ (Please sit here.)

Phil thanked the lady after she gave him a menu with a barely audible mumble of _“Arigatou gozaimasu”_ and smiled as the woman lightly bowed her head and answered, _“do itashimashite”_ and left.

Phil skimmed the menu and thanked the Avenger gods for the tiny English subtitles under all of the dish names and their descriptions. After deciding on having a glass of water and the famous _Teppan Edo’s Sukiyaki,_ he heard footsteps approaching towards him.

Phil looked up from his menu and his eyes quickly rested on light creamy skin, slightly chapped pink lips, and illuminating brown eyes that matched his equally brown hair parted in a fringe quite similar to Phil’s but instead parted on the left side.

Formally speaking, Phil would say to himself that this man who was apparently his waiter was fairly attractive. However, the only word that Phil could muster up from his forest of English vocabulary was the word _damn. Damn._

Phil’s eyes quickly scanned the rest of Dan’s rather intriguing body figure before he realized he was probably enjoying the sight a little too long for the average young male adult. So Phil slowly trailed his wandering blue eyes back to the waiter's pleasant face and smiled politely.

“You don’t look Japanese,” Phil said dumbly. He mentally slapped his palm to his forehead. Did he really just say that to a waiter out loud?

The attractive man only chuckled in amusement, his brown eyes glimmering slightly.

_“Onomi mono wa ika ga itashimasu ka?”_ the waiter asked. (What would you like to drink?)

“Er, _mizu onegai shimasu.”_ (Water, please.)

_“Hai,”_ the waiter responded as he scribbled something down on his tiny notepad quickly before bowing his head politely and leaving the table.

Phil let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding for a while and ran his fingers through his hair. He was so smitten, it was ridiculous.

~

_“Gochuumon wa okimari desu ka?”_ asked the waiter after returning to Phil’s table with a glass of water. (Have you decided what you wanted to order?)

_“Hai,”_ answered Phil, “er, _sukiyaki o onegaishimasu.”_ (Yes, I would like to have sukiyaki, please.)

_“Hai, shoushou omachi kudasai,”_ answered the waiter. (Okay, please wait.) Phil handed his menu to the brown-haired waiter when he felt –

Phil’s arm immediately worked like a slingshot and quickly pulled away from the menu, dropping it on the floor. He felt his fingers brush the waitor’s, causing Phil to blush profusely in embarrassment.

_“Warui warui,”_ the waiter apologized frantically as he bent down to pick up the menu from the floor. Phil’s eyes rested on the man’s behind, which was tantalizingly outlined by his fit black pants. The waiter emerged from the floor, blushing and brushing his fringe away from his face, clearly flustered.

_“Gomen-nasai,”_ the waiter apologized once more sheepishly.

_“Sinpai naiyo,”_ Phil answered his Japanese pronunciation now even more disjointed than before. (Don’t worry.)

The waiter smiled, flashing a subtle wink in Phil’s direction before walking away with the menu, hips swaying suggestively. Phil unashamedly stared after the waiter. _Damn._

~

“I need you to help me get fired.”

“ _You speak English?!?!”_

“Do I _look_ like a Japan native to you?”

Phil was currently wide-eyed, staring at his waiter, who was sitting in the chair across from him. The restaurant seemed to be winding down and closing up shop, in which the waiter (his name tag read Dan) reassured Phil that he had no other shifts tonight.

“No! I mean- I just thought that… nevermind,” Phil mumbled, darting his eyes away from the slightly amused Dan. “So what do you need my help for? Why do you want to get fired?”

Dan smiled excitedly. “At the end of this week, I’m moving back to the UK. I’m not sure what I plan on doing after this. I mean, majoring in foreign language is great. For fuck’s sake, I’ve been living in Japan for three years! But now I just wanna head back home and settle down, maybe get that law degree, and all that shit.”

“So basically you need to get fired or quit your job here so you can move back to the UK?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why don’t you just tell your manager that you’re quitting?”

“That’s so boring,” Dan said exasperatedly with a dismissive wave of his hand. “At first I was gonna do that, but then I realized I could film myself getting fired and then post it on my channel for my viewers as well! It’s a double win!”

Phil just shakes his head fondly. “You’re actually going through with this plan?”

“If I can have your help. Or, you know, I could go the less exciting and more traditional route like you said and tell my boss I call it quits. Your choice.”

Phil pondered over this for a moment. This did sound like a lot of fun. The adolescent population didn’t invent the internet slang term “YOLO” for nothing.

“I’m in.”

“Perfect! Here’s what you have to do.”

~

Phil had the tripod set up in a hidden place just behind one of the counters, placing Dan’s main camera on top of it. Phil waited for Dan’s signal and pressed the button to start filming.

Quickly, Dan started trashing the restaurant while the manager was temporarily out of the restaurant to pick up something, leaving Dan to finish mopping the floors, washing the linens, emptying the sink, etc. Phil couldn’t help but giggle along with Dan as he watched Dan break a few silverware and even do the classic rip the dining cloth off the tables. Shattering of glass and the clinking of silverware meeting the wooden floors resonated through the nearly empty restaurant, and Phil felt a bit of a rush go through him.

Once Dan finished wrecking the entire restaurant, Phil stopped filming and Dan lead him to another hidden place near the exit for the footage of Dan getting fired to be shot. The brown-haired waiter gave Phil a thumbs up before positioning himself in the middle of the mess, admiring every bit of it.

A short moment passed until Phil heard a door opening and a gasp. Suddenly, an angry voice speaking rapid Japanese started filling the room, and Phil tried his hardest not to laugh out loud.

_“Deteke!”_ boomed the angry manager.  

Dan muttered a slightly timid _“hai”_ before heading into the kitchen to grab his things and leave without Phil being noticed.

The two young men quickly ran out of the restaurant through the back exit and started laughing.

“That was _awesome!_ ” Dan exclaimed, his brown eyes glimmering with excitement.

“Yeah, it was. Now you can move back to the UK!”

Dan’s smile faded a little as the two walked aimlessly through Tokyo.

“About that, I’m still not sure what I wanna do when I get back.”

“Don’t you have a plan? Or a dream or a passion?” Phil asked, turning to face Dan.

“I don’t know,” Dan answered quietly, his eyes averting from Phil’s.

“You don’t want to go back to uni, do you?” Phil’s voice was contorted into more of a statement than a question.

Dan shrugged. “I just don’t see myself in an office living a boring life as a lawyer when I could be doing something exciting and fun and innovative and creative.”

“Well there’s always Youtube,” Phil offered, his voice barely audible.

“I can’t make a living off of Youtube, Phil. I barely have any subscribers.” Dan slumped his shoulders and sighed, looking out into the glowing city, still not meeting Phil’s eyes.

“I’m looking for a flatmate,” Phil blurted out suddenly.

Dan turned to Phil, his brown eyes widened in shock and something else Phil couldn’t decipher. Was it a sliver of hope?

“I mean, er, it gets lonely in my flat a lot. And you know, we could both do Youtube together. You seem like a really cool person and we seem to get along pretty well. So uh, maybe we could? I don’t know,” Phil finished lamely. Hopefully, Dan didn’t think he was even more pathetic than he already was. However, Dan’s reaction said otherwise.

“Really?” the brown-haired man asked excitedly. “Would that be alright with you?”

Phil smiled. “Absolutely.”

Dan smiled back, his future starting to/ seem a bit less bleak.

~

“So what time is your flight?” Dan asked as he finished off his glass of Coca-Cola.

“Seven-thirty in the morning on Sunday, meaning I have to get up at like four in the morning and be at the airport at around five.” Phil stared into his cup of tea, his eyes trained on the tea bag sloshing in the warm liquid substance.

“Ah, my flight’s at eight. Direct flight or…?”

“Yeah,” Phil cut off, “a direct flight. You?”

“Mhmm.”

The two stayed silent for a while, both a bit mentally exhausted from their previous conversation about sharing a flat together and discussing a few arrangements.

Phil looked up from his tea to see Dan tapping away on his phone.

“What are you doing?”

Dan smiled for a second, the glow of his iPhone lighting up his face in the dim lighting of the café they were at. “Subscribing to this awesome guy called AmazingPhil on Youtube. Heard he was pretty cool and shares many interests with me.”

Phil found himself blushing when he smiled back at Dan. “Oh yeah? Well, there’s this channel with a rather unique user called _danisnotonfire._ I’d like to get to know this _‘danisnotonfire’_ person a bit more because he seems rather interesting.”

The two of them laughed. Sure, Phil was about 600,000 subscribers ahead of him. Dan’s channel only had around 100,000 subscribers. But with Phil, Dan thought, he could make a living out of Youtube. He was willing to bide his time for his channel to grow along with this newfound friendship he now had with Phil.

Dan looked out into the beautiful city of Tokyo once more, paying attention to this innate rhythm this city’s inhabitants all just automatically understood. Maybe in a few months’ time, he and Phil would have their own automatically understood routine and rhythm as flatmates. And as friends. And maybe even as future boyfrie-

“I had a great time.”

Phil’s voice and his statement quickly snapped Dan out of his thoughts.

“W-What?” Dan asked stupidly, needing to hear those words again.

“I had fun,” Phil said simply, a hint of a smile shadowing his lips. “And I can’t wait for the future as well. I think it’ll be great for us.”

“I think so too.”

Dan wanted Phil to break eye contact, and Dan certainly didn’t want to look away, so neither of them did. Dan studied Phil’s eyes, which he found out weren’t only blue but had tinges of green and yellow hidden underneath. At some angles of light, the yellow would be brought out more, but at other angles, the green would dominate along with the blue instead. It was just like the person behind those beautiful eyes. Phil had this main and ideal personality he always maintained, but that wasn’t all of him. Phil also had other sides to him, sides that he probably wanted to keep to himself or only to his close friends. Sometimes those sides, in certain situations, would be brought out into the limelight to mix in with his main personality. Just like how Phil’s eye color responds to different views of light. That intrigued Dan.

“I really like your eyes,” the younger finally said, his voice a mere whisper that could have easily been carried away with the wind but still somehow were brought to the elder’s ears.

Phil blushed and smiled. “Thank you,” he said softly.

“Mine are the color of poop,” Dan said bluntly.

“No, I think they’re like the color of yummy chocolate,” Phil responded, a grin forming slowly on his face.

“Shut up, you spork,” Dan said fondly.

Dan didn’t know when it happened or who leaned in first, but their lips were pressed together in a kiss. It just came out of nowhere, something so unexpected, but Dan let it take over him and just went with it. He then pulled is lips away from Phil’s, the two of them panting and slightly out of breath.

“So what does this make us?” Dan asked.

“Whatever you want it to be,” Phil answered.

“Let’s give it some time first, yeah?”

“Alright.”

~

Epilogue – _June 11, 2017_

It was Dan’s birthday and Phil was currently in the kitchen at three in the morning attempting to bake a cake for his boyfriend. The cake itself came out alright for an adult with little cooking or baking skills whatsoever. Phil concluded that his lucky baking hat perched on top of his black mop of hair helped with the form of the cake, but unfortunately, frosting the cake was a daunting task by itself.

After frosting the entire vanilla and chocolate cake with buttercream frosting, Phil looked up the Japanese writing for “Happy Birthday Dan! I Love You!” and messily frosted it on top of the cake. The last character in the Japanese phrase of “I Love You!” barely fit on the top surface of the cake, nearly falling off the edge. But overall, it was the thought and effort that counted.

Phil placed two candles, the numbers 2 and 6, in the empty space above the writing and lighted them. Finally, Phil added a few cupcake decorations including a plastic video game console and a small printed out plastic picture of Kanye’s black aesthetic that Dan had reblogged once on Tumblr. It was a bit tricky to morph the picture into a cupcake decoration, but Phil had his sources, a.k.a. Chris and PJ.

Finally, Phil put down a cupcake decoration of the Japanese word for “love.“ It was a bit cheesy, but Phil could never forget how he and Dan first met on that fateful night in Tokyo at _Teppan Edo._ Phil then admired the cake with some sort of satisfaction and then set the cake on a small cake plate because it was rather small. Only he and Dan would be devouring it anyway. Then Phil carefully placed the cake in the empty space he cleared out in the fridge. After closing the refrigerator door, Phil padded back into his room to find Dan still snuggled up in his bed, the only part of him visible a flurry of brown hair resting on one of the pillows. Phil admired the sight, his heart warming slightly as he watched the man he absolutely loved just lay there, sleeping peacefully.

Dan, the man he loves, his boyfriend for one year already, the man who recently hit one million subscribers in the course of a year because of his great video content and how he really connected with his viewers. His boyfriend was truly a genius.

Phil finally closed the door behind him and snuggled up into his duvet and placed himself next to Dan. He wrapped an arm around the sleeping man’s waist and Dan unconsciously moved his body closer to Phil’s, his face now snuggling into his chest comfortably. Phil then closed his eyes and fell asleep to the pattern of Dan’s breathing and his emanating warmth.

~

The next morning, Phil woke up to any empty space next to him. He nearly freaked out until he heard water running in the bathroom just down the hall. Phil quickly got out of bed and checked the kitchen to see the glass door still closed. Dan didn’t have breakfast yet, meaning he would still be able to reveal his surprise cake to Dan.

Phil heard footsteps down the hall and he quickly opened up the glass door and started busying himself in the kitchen. He swiftly avoided the refrigerator and did the only thing he thought casual enough: eat Dan’s cereal. Phil snagged Dan’s box of shreddies and opened it up quickly and started shoving a handful into his mouth.

“On my _birthday_ , are you fucking serious?!” Dan exclaimed in annoyance, rolling his eyes.

Phil, still holding Dan’s box of cereal, muttered a lame, “Happy Birthday!”

_Now’s the time. Do it now._

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to take your cereal this time!”

“Oh, so it just magically flew into your hands and into your mouth then?” Dan asked sarcastically, but his voice laced more with fondness than venom.

“Oh shut up! I’ll just reveal it to you now.” Phil padded to the fridge and opened it up, taking out the cake. Dan’s eyes widened as Phil set the cake down on the counter and closed the fridge door. He admired how the cake actually looked. It didn’t look that bad!

“Holy shit, is this for real?” Dan’s eyes were still widened and his voice was soft in shock.

“Yep!” Phil replied cheerfully, satisfied with his boyfriend’s reaction. “Made it all by myself last night. Er, so, do you like it?” Phil asked, nervously fiddling with his fingers. Maybe he should have set up the cake to look more aesthetically pleasing. However, his doubts immediately flew from his brain when Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck and pulled him into a kiss.

Phil hummed in satisfaction. He was quick to curve his arms around Dan’s waist and pulled him closer, deepening their kiss. He loved Dan, and Phil knew that Dan loved him back just as much. Phil grinned internally as Dan proceeded to nip at his lower lip, asking for entrance. Phil let him as he tangled his fingers in Dan’s mussed up hair.

Sooner or later, hunger got the better of the two men and they abruptly stopped their makeout session. Dan eyed the cake.

“May I ask what flavor this cake is?” Dan asked, smile prominent on his face.

“Chocolate and vanilla cake covered with buttercream frosting.”

“You know me too well, you dildo. Now let’s eat before I lose the Hunger Games,” Dan said as he took out two plates and two forks and knives.

“Wait! You still have to blow out the candles!”

Dan groaned. “Come on, Phil, I’m not five!” the brown-haired man whined, wanting something to satisfy his stomach already.

“It’ll be super quick! I spent good money on these candles!”

“Whatever. But no singing!”

“Ugh, fine, Mr. Boring.”

Dan rolled his eyes in response as Phil lit the candles. “Make a wish!”

“Spork,” Dan muttered, but love clear in his eyes as he glanced at Phil then back at the cake.

_I don’t have a wish. Everything I want is all right here._

Dan blew out the candle, accompanied with enthusiastic cheering and clapping from Phil. The cheering stopped abruptly when Dan blew the smoke in Phil’s face.

“Ack! Dan! I don’t think you’d enjoy your boyfriend being contaminated with smoke on your birthday!”

Dan just laughed, taking out the candles and décor and placing them all on a plate for safe-keeping. He then cut the cake and offered the first piece to Phil.

“Come on Dan, it’s your birthday!”

“But-“

“Nope, go on, take the piece!”

“Fine,” Dan said in defeat. He took the first slice and smiled at the frosted Japanese symbol his piece had. 愛. Love.

**_Fin_ **

**Author's Note:**

> This oneshot wasn’t edited so I apologize for all of the typos. :/ But yeah, I’m still kinda proud of this oneshot! I hope you all liked it! :)


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